


Eternity

by TheGatsbyGirl



Category: Frozen (2013), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGatsbyGirl/pseuds/TheGatsbyGirl
Summary: Once upon a time a child found a kindred spirit. Someone who shared her curse. Someone who was her friend. But as years pass and her spirit fades away, something much more malevolent begins to take ahold of her. It’s up to the guardian to save the one he loves and to teach her how to regain control again.





	1. Prologue

_“He composed many complete figures, forming different words, but there was one word he never could manage to form, although he wished it very much. It was the word ‘Eternity.’”_

– Hans Christen Andersen, _The Snow Queen_

* * *

  
He was alone.

  
Wandering through towns and forests and years. Waiting for decades to find someone. Or something. Then all of a sudden he was called upon by St. Nicholas himself (who apparently preferred not to be called Santa by those who were older than age 10) and he had four friends. Well, in a way they were friends. He was still alone in the real world. Unseen by all those who didn’t believe that the spirit of winter was real. The sandman was by far his favorite. Probably because he couldn’t talk. But he did like Sandy a lot. He was patient and peaceful and let Jack be himself without scolding him for making snowstorms or constantly examining his teeth. The tooth fairy was unbelievably energetic, flitting around from corner to corner in a colorful heartbeat. The Easter Bunny was another story.

  
It was December. Christmas was coming, and with it another frantic season for Nicholas St. North. Jack had been amusing himself by surprising the yetis with frozen toys when he saw them. A present for a child that wasn’t a toy or candy, but…gloves. Of all the things one could give, this child wanted gloves. _Are they poor? Or cold? Maybe they have a thing about dirt?_ But that didn’t feel right.

  
“Hey Father Christmas,” he said. “Who are the gloves for?”

  
North frowned. “Princess in Arendelle, the kingdom by the Southern Isles and Grimmstead.”

  
“Why gloves?”

  
North crossed his arms, “naughty” and “nice” staring back at Jack. “Why do you care, Frost?”

  
“Just curious. It seems like a weird gift.”

  
“We give many children gloves. There is nothing different about this girl.”

  
Jack nodded. But he didn’t think North was telling the truth. This didn’t feel normal.

  
He waited the few days for Christmas to pass and took off into the night to find answers.

* * *

She was really happy with her Christmas presents. Especially the gloves. Her father had said they would help, and she believed in him.

  
“The gloves will help. No more danger.” The king smiled at his daughter as they repeated their mantra. “Conceal it.”

  
The little girl pulled on the small white gloves. “Don’t feel it.”

  
Her father patted her hand, the golden medals on his chest gleaming in the firelight. “Don’t let it show.”

  
The figure hovering outside the window was invisible to them. But he could see everything. And he knew immediately why this child felt different. She was like him. Someone in this world was like him.

  
He _wasn’t_ alone.

  
The little girl, Elsa her father had called her, was left alone in the room, toying with her gloves. She gently pulled them off, just to feel her hands again. Then she lifted a hand to the air and gracefully moved her fingers. A shower of snowflakes fell from the path of her hand. She smiled and waved her hand again, watching in delight as more snowflakes danced around her hand. As her movements became larger the effect became greater. But she realized this too late. After casting her arm to her left, she watched in horror as her wardrobe became encased in ice. She immediately pulled on the gloves and sat on her hands, closing her eyes and trying to forget how reckless she had been.

  
Jack shook his head. This was _not_ the way she should be taught. She had a wonderful gift. There was a grace in her gestures, a delicacy in her creations. She could make things more beautiful than he ever could. The last thing she needed was to fear her powers.

  
It wasn’t healthy, the way she was being raised. Shut out from the world. Shut away from her own _sister_. Not a single person to be her friend.

  
Invisible.

  
He had to help her. Her power was too beautiful to waste. If she continued on this way, she would fall prey to her own power. Fear would consume her.

  
And if fear were to consume her, then Pitch would strike.

  
She sadly gazed into the fire, the light from the flame casting shadows over her face.

  
She was young.

  
About fourteen. Silvery blond hair tied back in a neat braid. Clothed in a dark woolen dress. Blue eyes flickering.

_  
Does she see me, though?_

_  
_ Jack waved, then immediately groaned. Even if she did see him, how could he be stupid enough to think that she would wave back?

  
He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. _Okay. Time to experiment._ He passed through the wall and felt soft carpet beneath his feet.

  
Elsa stopped. She could feel that something had changed. She had no idea what; nothing in her room had moved. But there was something different. She looked around before cautiously sitting on her bed and clasping her hands.

  
Then she heard something.

  
It was soft. But it was there. Like footsteps.

  
“Is…is someone there?” Elsa’s hands closed into fists. The spirit smiled, knowing that she would be able to see him with a little more effort. Her belief was there. Not quite strong enough yet, but somewhere inside of her, she believed.

  
The window began to fog up and tiny curls of ice etched patterns into the fog.

  
Elsa let out a tiny gasp. What was happening? She hadn’t done that. What had?

  
“I know something’s here. What are you?”

  
A handprint took shape on the frost. But she thought she saw something over the handprint. Like an outline, or a ghost of a hand. Slowly the ghost became a real hand emerging from the print on the window, followed by an arm, then a cloaked torso and shoulders, then legs clothed in worn buckskin, then bare feet, then finally the pale face of a boy. She slid off her bed and walked toward the boy who had just appeared in her room, standing in front of him and looking up at him with curiosity.

  
“Hi, Elsa. My name is Jack Frost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man.  
> This has been a looooooooooooooooong time coming. For perspective, I'd like to point out that I started writing this fic in 2014. But Jelsa is my OTP to end all OTPs, and I don't regret any of the time I've spent writing them over the past three years. I'm going to try to update this as frequently as possible, and this work will have more chapters than anything else I've written.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are you here?”
> 
> “I…well, I saw something in Santa’s workshop that I didn’t understand. There was a pair of gloves. And I felt something. I don’t know exactly what it was, but…it was something. So I came here. And I found you, princess.”

“Who are you? Tell me the truth or I’ll call the guards.”

  
The boy ran a hand through his hair. The princess couldn’t help but think how odd it was that a boy his age would have silver hair, and how much he needed a comb. “I just told you. I’m Jack Frost, guardian of winter and fun.”

  
“But…that doesn’t make sense.”

  
Jack smiled warmly. “Sure it does. Santa exists. And so does the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. And the Sandman. So why shouldn’t I?”

  
The little girl frowned. “Well…”

  
“Exactly. I bring winter and fun to all the boys and girls like you.”

  
Elsa dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn’t need someone to bring winter to her. What she needed was for someone to take winter away. As for fun well…she hadn’t had much of an appetite for fun in a long time.

  
“So you make the snow fall?”

  
His eyes twinkled. “Well, there’s science that makes the snow fall. But I certainly help.”

  
The princess bit her lip. “Did…did you do this to me?”

  
He knelt and looked straight into her eyes, blue meeting blue. His brow was furrowed. “What?”

  
“Did you…give me the magic?”

  
Jack shook his head. “No. I can’t do that. You were chosen by the moon to have this power.”

  
“The moon?”

  
“The Man in the Moon. He made me a guardian. And he gave you powers for a reason.”

  
Elsa shook her head and slowly padded over to her bed, resting a hand on her duvet.

  
Jack Frost’s face was solemn. “The moon is never wrong.”

  
But she knew the truth. When she was born, the moon was wrong.

  
“How did…how did the moon give you the powers?”

  
He took a deep breath. “A long long time ago I became who I am. The moon was the first thing I ever saw. And he said to me ‘your name is Jack Frost.’ Then I found a branch next to me and touched it and I discovered my powers.” He gripped his staff, worn bark touching his palm. “Using my staff I bring winter fun to all the children of the world and keep them safe.”

  
She tilted her head, looking at what he held. “You have a…stick?”

  
Jack nodded. “I can make winter on my own, but my staff helps. It’s like my magic wand.”

  
She allowed herself to show a tiny smile. “A magic wand?”

  
Jack laughed and pointed his staff with a flourish. “Abracadabra!”

  
The princess giggled. Then she took a closer look at the staff. It didn’t look too special. Weathered bark. A curved tip. Blue veins running through wooden skin. It didn’t look special. But maybe it _could_ be. 

  
“Why are you here?”

  
“I…well, I saw something in Santa’s workshop that I didn’t understand. There was a pair of gloves. And I felt something. I don’t know exactly what it was, but…it was something. So I came here. And I found you, princess.”

  
Elsa clasped her hands. “Will you teach me?”

  
“Teach you?”

  
“Yes. I don’t know how to control my powers.”

  
Jack frowned. She didn’t know? Sure, he let his powers go a little crazy at times, but he knew how to control them. It was intuition. He had woken up knowing.

  
“You…don’t know how to control them? But I’ve seen you use them. I just saw you make all that beautiful snow.”

  
She hunched her shoulders and sat on the edge of her bed. “No, it’s not that, I…I know how to make things, and freeze things and everything. But I don’t know how to _un_ freeze. Or turn it off.”

  
“Oh.” Jack moved closer and took a seat beside the princess. “Well, I can try.”

  
“Really?”

  
The guardian smiled. “Sure. Tell you what. I’ll come back tomorrow and we can start first thing.”

  
Hope filled Elsa’s eyes and glimmered in her growing smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”

  
Jack patted her shoulder. “Happy to oblige, Princess.” He rose, slowly floating towards the window. Before passing through the glass, he looked over his shoulder at the young princess.

  
“Are you for real?” She asked.

  
Jack flashed a crooked smile. “As long as you can see me.”

* * *

“Hello, moon.”

  
The soft yellow light shone onto the cushions of her window seat. She hugged her knees. “Jack says that you pick who has powers.”

  
It was still such a strange thing. The moon choosing who had powers. How did the moon get so much power? It wasn’t even on the earth.

  
“But why me? All I do is destroy. All I do is make people afraid. I hurt my sister. I scare my parents. Imagine what the people would think of me if they knew what I really am.

  
“What can I do besides cause fear? Why couldn’t you have given this to someone else who knew how to control it? I can’t. I can’t keep myself from hurting people.”

  
She could feel tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. “You made me a monster.”

  
For so long, she hugged her knees and wept. The moon continued to shine on her, no different than before. Completely unresponsive.

  
But then…something happened.

  
She wasn’t sure exactly when it happened. But the moon _reached out to her_. Her teary gaze was drawn to the moon’s face like a magnet. She looked at the sky and only then did she realize that it was so…beautiful. All of a sudden there was no more darkness. Only light. Only a light that seemed to reach out and whisper her name.

  
The voice was soft, and sweet as a bell, but not human. It was like the voice of an angel. The voice of a spirit.

  
The voice of the moon.

  
“ _Elsa_.”

  
Elsa’s eyes widened. Had that been real? Or was it just her imagination? It felt real. It felt like she had been called to. Given a sign. A real, honest sign.

  
“You’re real.”

  
She uncurled her fists and saw tiny snowflakes flying from her palms. But this time she saw beauty. It wasn’t evil, or dark, but bright. Good. A miracle. It was like seeing love.

  
“You chose me.”

  
She swept her hands all around her, to the sides, up to the sky, down to the floor. The snowflakes were tiny ballerinas, leaping over her fingers, spinning into the air. It was beautiful. It was _good_. The dance lasted until she closed her eyes and lowered her arms.

  
They were gone. She had created them and she had made them disappear.

  
She _controlled_ it.

  
Elsa looked back at the moon. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  
The young girl hopped off the window seat and crawled into bed.

  
Before closing her eyes, she took one final look at the light shining through the window and said her last words to the Man in the Moon.

  
“Please let Jack teach me how to control it.”

  
She went to sleep and the Sandman gave her dreams of snowball fights and days with her family. He wanted her to be happy and have some faith.

  
Sandy could sense that Manny had been there. He and Manny were the closest. Like he and Jack, Sandy and the Moon shared silence together. He glanced back at the sleeping child and the golden dreams above her head. The Sandman thanked the Man in the Moon and flew to another room of the castle to give another girl sweet dreams of reuniting with her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. Chapter one. And after just a couple days! I'll probably be updating this fic more frequently than my other ones because I'm so invested in this one. Hopefully there will never be more than a two-week gap between postings. And this will be a pretty long fic, so prepare for the slow burn.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment she said those words, it appeared in his mind. A matryoshka, sparkling and wide-eyed.
> 
> Her center.

He was there in the morning, perched on top of his staff and wearing a grin like daylight.

  
“Morning Princess! You ready to have some winter fun?”

  
She rubbed her eyes and looked at the guardian. “Can I wake up first?”

  
Jack rolled his eyes. “The early bird catches the worm, you know.”

  
She smirked. “Well then good thing I don’t like worms.”

  
He laughed. “You know my friend Sandy visited you last night. Blame him for being tired.”

  
It was still strange to her. Her parents had never taught her much about the sandman. She didn’t even really know he existed until Anna had pointed to a picture of a golden man in one of their storybooks. She hadn’t been able to read at the time and Elsa had read her the story of the man who gave boys and girls dreams and sprinkled sand into their eyes while they slept. Like Jack, he was more than a storybook. He was more than inked lines on a well-worn page.

  
He was real.

  
She walked closer and looked up at the guardian atop his staff. “Will I ever meet him?”

  
“Sandy?” His gaze drifted to the side in contemplation. “To be honest, probably not. He only comes when you’re asleep, and he wouldn’t have much to say. He can’t speak.”

  
“He can’t speak?”

  
“Nope. Not a word. But he doesn’t really need to, if that makes any sense.”

  
Elsa nodded. “I…understand. I wish people didn’t feel like they have to talk all the time.”

  
Jack’s eyes lit up. “Exactly. Sometimes that’s when you know you’ve found someone special. When you can just sit together. And share the silence.”

  
That same silence filled the air as the two of them looked at each other. There was no need for sound; just small smiles and blue upon blue.

  
“Like that,” Elsa said. “I guess you’re special.”

  
Jack jumped down to the floor and slung his staff over his shoulders. “Sorry princess, I’m afraid you’re wrong. _You’re_ the special one.”

  
Elsa looked at her feet, color filling her cheeks. “Thank you.”

  
“My pleasure, Elsa. Now, are you awake enough for some winter fun?”

  
She looked back up at him. “Yeah. I am.” 

* * *

“We’re gonna start with the most important part: finding your center.”

  
“My what?”

  
“Your center. What drives you.”

  
Elsa knit her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side. “Nothing drives me.”

  
Jack crossed his arms. “Something’s gotta drive you. Like…when you study for a test. What drives you there?” 

  
“Well…I want to do well on it.”

  
He stepped forward and put his hands on his knees. “But _why?_ ”

  
“I want to make Mama and Papa proud. And I want to feel the way I do when I get a good grade.”

  
Jack nodded. “And what does that feel like?”

  
“It feels like pride. But not the bad kind of pride, like the good kind when you’re happy about something you did well. And it feels like laughing but there’s nothing funny.”

  
“Yes! So…what drives you when you’re getting a birthday gift for someone?”

  
This time her thoughts came much more quickly. “I want to make them happy. Because that feels like…seeing someone else smile and then smiling yourself.”

  
“Yes, princess, you’re getting it. So why do you make things out of snow and ice?”

  
Elsa paused. “Because its pretty,” she mumbled. “And it makes Anna happy.”

  
“So it’s like getting someone a birthday gift? Seeing a smile and smiling?”

  
“Yeah. And it makes things sparkle, and…I like the sparkle. It makes me feel good. And I think it makes other people feel good.”

  
The moment she said those words, it appeared in his mind. A matryoshka, sparkling and wide-eyed.

  
Her center.

  
“Okay. I want you to listen to me. Don’t think about any fear or hesitance you might have. Just focus on the good feeling that you get. Feel the sparkle.”

  
Elsa pursed her lips and closed her eyes again.

  
Feel the sparkle.

_  
Feel the sparkle._

  
The wonder in Anna’s eyes. The shimmer of the snow when her hands spread wide. The way ice bloomed under her touch like a flower, creating spiraling patterns across surfaces. The way the snowflakes looked like little diamonds when they fell from the ceiling of the throne room. The wonder of it all. The beauty of it all. 

  
A snowflake materialized in her hand.

  
Elsa’s face lit up. “I did it! Well…I could always do it, but…I controlled it this time!”

  
Jack nodded. “Yeah. You did an amazing job. Now make it disappear. Feel it melt under your hand.”

  
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut again and tried to picture the snowflake melting. But she saw nothing.

  
“Don’t just see it. Feel it. Feel the ice turn to water, feel it turn from cold to warm.”

  
Ice to water. Cold to warm. Nothing.

  
“You’re too uptight. Relax, Elsa. I know you can do it.”

  
Ice to water, cold to warm, see it disappear, nothing was coming. The only thing she saw when she closed her eyes was darkness. “No, I can’t,” she said. “I don’t know how to do this.”

  
Jack’s expression grew serious. “But you can. Remember. _You’re_ the one in control. _You_ have the power. The sparkle is yours, and you can do what you want with it.”

  
Elsa relaxed her eyelids and took a deep breath. _Remember how it felt with the moon._ I’m _in control._ I _have the power._

  
The snowflake disappeared into the air and the little princess sighed in relief.

  
“It’s gone.”

  
“It’s gone because you said so. The sparkle is ours. The moon picked us out of all the people in the world to have it.”

  
She looked at her empty palm. There was nothing special about her hands. Her fingers were average in length, her palms carved with the same lines as everyone else. Nothing special. Nothing at all.

  
“Why me?”

  
Jack began to pace. “I don’t know. It’ll be a while before you know. I’m still figuring it out myself.

  
“What matters is what you choose to do with your powers. Someday you’ll know exactly why the Man in the Moon chose you. But until then…you’re going to have to play. Experiment. Discover what the power means to you.”

  
She gave him a nod. “I’ll…try. Thank you, Jack.”

  
“You’re welcome.”

  
“Can you come back tomorrow?”

  
“I’ll come back as long as you want me to.”

  
He waved and jumped into the air, passing through the window panes. He was a ghost. As blue as his eyes.

  
Somehow, a ghost could be real.

* * *

She never told him about the moon. She didn’t need to. She told him in silence. And she knew that the moon gave him faith too. Faith. It was something she hadn’t really had before.

  
She walked over to her bedside table and pulled open the drawer. The book was still there, dusty and faded. She flipped through the pages, watching memories with Anna unfold in each chapter. Spilling milk on the story of the tooth fairy, Anna telling her enthusiastically about the sandman giving her the good dream she’d had the night before, rereading the tale of St. Nicholas for the hundredth time on Christmas Eve.

  
Then she got to the page.

  
Jack really looked nothing like his book counterpart. The only similarity was the white hair. They had always skipped over the story of Jack Frost. No real reason. Normally they just had to go to bed. But not tonight. Tonight she would read.

  
Tonight she would read. Tonight he would ponder.

  
He told himself that he was just teaching her to get a handle on her gift. That he was helping her, protecting her. He told the other guardians that he was protecting her, that she needed to learn how to control her power or she could be manipulated. She could become something terrible. But he knew that wasn’t the truth.

  
North always said to never get attached to children. Because even though there would always be believers, eventually children will grow up, and thoughts of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny will be pushed aside in favor of more adult thoughts. Eventually, every child will stop believing.

  
If only Jack had listened to his advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering, yes, that part about sharing silence was based on Pulp Fiction. I see a lot of value in finding someone where you don’t have to be talking all the time to enjoy each other’s company, and I of course think that Jack and Elsa find that value in each other. Much more of that slow burn to come.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just…please don’t get too attached. For your own good. Please.”
> 
> “Okay.”
> 
> He hated lying to the guardians. And now he wondered why he did it so often.

“Anna?”

  
The echo that followed unnerved Elsa. It was too empty. There was always some sort of sound in the castle, be it the footsteps of her parents or what few servants they had left knocking on doors. But now there was nothing. Except the echo.

  
And some sort of word.

  
It wasn’t coming from anywhere. It never stopped and never began, something like _itch ack, itch lack, itch lack_ , no, the sound wasn’t itch, it was _pitch_.

_  
Pitch black, pitch black, pitch black, pitch black._

  
It never ended. Whispers coming from all directions, overlapping, the words barely comprehensible.

  
Pitch black and the echoes of her sister’s name.

_  
Anna._

  
Where was she? Anna always answered her call. She raced through the winding halls of the castle, the journey seeming to grow longer and longer the faster she ran. Until finally she reached the ballroom. Anna was sitting in the center of the room. Silent.

  
“Anna!” She ran to her sister, wrapping her arms around her. “Why didn’t you answer me? I was so worried!”

  
Anna turned to her and said nothing, staring vacantly at her with solemn yellow eyes.

  
But Anna’s eyes weren’t yellow.

  
“Anna?”

  
Spirals of ice began to sprout from her fingers, snaking around her sister’s arms. No. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not again.

  
_I’m in control, I have the power. I’m in control, I have the power. I’m…_

  
She couldn’t hear her thoughts. There was something. Something drowning out her voice. Crackling. The crackling of ice. Ice growing from the bottoms of the walls. Ice on the ceiling reaching for her sister below. Ice overtaking the world.

  
“You’re killing her,” a voice said, dripping darkness. She shook her sister’s shoulder, ice crawling up her neck. “ _You’re killing her_.” The voice was louder, growling, Anna wasn’t moving…

_  
“YOU’RE KILLING HER!”_

  
Her pillow was wet with sweat and tears.

* * *

“I was just curious. Sorry if I upset you.”

  
Jack’s hand tugged at his hair as the Tooth Fairy frowned. “No. You’re…you’re fine. I’m sorry. Just…I have a life outside being a guardian, you know.”

  
Tooth’s fingers began to fidget. _Oh, great. Nice going Jack. You made her nervous._

  
“Jack, you don’t need to tell me you have a life outside being a guardian. Do you think all I do is oversee teeth delivery? I have a life, too. We all do.”

  
“Yeah, but maybe my life isn’t any of your business, Tooth,” Jack said, his own teeth beginning to clench. “I’d prefer to be left alone for now, if you don’t mind.”

  
“You mean like how you’ve been the last hundred years?”

  
He turned his back on the fairy and drifted over to the window. The North Pole was one of the places where he actually felt at home, and now Toothiana was prying. She didn't have to know about Elsa. Nobody did. The less everybody knew the better. For Elsa's safety.

  
A blue and yellow reflection appeared in the window. Her hand gently rested on his shoulder and he turned to look at her.

  
“Jack. Once there was a little boy named Harry who lost a tooth. And he was so sad. Because that tooth had a cavity. And all he could think was ‘the tooth fairy would never take a tooth with a cavity.’ He was disappointed because he thought he had disappointed me. So when the fairies were getting ready to go out that night, the Tooth Fairy decided to go to Harry’s house herself. She woke him up and he started to cry and say how sorry he was to give her a rotten tooth. But she took it anyway and gave him a gift and his smile touched her. Whenever he lost a tooth, she would go to his house and visit him. Eventually she considered him a friend.

“And then one day he stopped losing teeth. His baby teeth were all gone. He grew up. And the Tooth Fairy had to let go of her friend.” Purple eyes looked at him, lashes sparkling with each blink. “Don’t make the same mistakes she did.”

  
Jack pulled her into a hug. “Not all children have to stop believing. Harry is out there somewhere.”

  
“I know you have a Harry,” she said, voice shaking. “Just…please don’t get too attached. For your own good. Please.”

  
“Okay.”

  
He hated lying to the guardians. And now he wondered why he did it so often.

* * *

“What’s Pitch Black?”

  
The guardian’s grip on his staff grew tighter. The etched bark bit into his palm. “No one.”

  
Elsa’s gaze narrowed. “No one? So…it’s a person?”

  
His arm was shaking with tension. “No. It’s nothing. Nothing at all.”

  
“You’re lying to me.”

  
“No, I’m not.”

  
“Yes you are. I know you are.” There was an edge to her voice today, a hardness that he hadn’t heard in her before. Something wasn’t right with her.

  
“Why are you even asking this? You shouldn’t even know about him.”

  
Her brow lowered into a glare. “ _Him_?”

  
A mangled groan escaped Jack’s throat. None of this was supposed to happen, she couldn’t believe, she’d just be in even more danger, how was he going to fix this…

  
“I had a dream last night. A nightmare. And I heard those words. Or his name, I guess. I don’t want to talk about it. Just tell me what it is. What _he_ is.”

  
Jack sighed. The less she knew the better, but if he had managed to find her, she’d have to know what was coming. “…it’s hard to explain. But have you heard of the bogeyman?”

  
Elsa nodded.

  
“That’s him.”

  
The girl frowned. “But he’s not real. He’s just made up to scare kids.”

  
“He’s technically the bogeyman. But in a way he’s also…not. He’s fear.”

  
Elsa was silent. “Have you ever felt…um…just overwhelmed? It’s like you can’t shake feeling like you’re a monster. No one can see you and no one ever will, and if they ever did they would just…be terrified. And that fear kind of consumes you. That’s him.”

  
That first night in Burgess, wandering like a lost soul. Pitch was with him then. Whatever happened with Anna. Pitch was with her.

  
Elsa stood for a while, saying nothing, looking down at her clasped hands. Then she rushed at him and wrapped her little arms around his waist.

  
“I know him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter and a little later than all the other ones, but I'm currently in California visiting some very close friends. I know not a whole lot happens here, but this is slow burn. Very slow burn.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was frozen.
> 
> This had never happened before. She never shivered, she never chattered her teeth, she never felt cold like this.
> 
> But…he’d asked her _that._

She was frozen.

  
This had never happened before. She never shivered, she never chattered her teeth, she never felt _cold_ like this.

  
But…he’d asked her _that_.

  
“What’s with you and your sister?”

  
Then she couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t think. All she could see was Anna’s hair fading from copper to white. All she could hear was the sound of her body hitting the ballroom floor. There wasn’t enough air but every breath felt like too much.

  
“Elsa? Elsa, are you okay?”

  
His voice was fading in and out, the question repeating over and over. 

  
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re fine.”

_  
What’s with you and your sister_

  
“Do you need some water?”

_  
What’s with you and your sister_

  
“Do you want to lie down?”

_  
What’s with you and your sister_

  
“Elsa?”

_  
What’s with you and your sister_

  
“Can you hear me?”

_  
Can…_

_  
You hear me?_

_  
I can_.

  
“I’m so sorry.” Her fingers closed around her wrist, checking her pulse. “That’s never happened before, I don’t know what that was…”

  
“It’s fine. Nothing to apologize for.”

  
“I really…I don’t know what just happened.”

  
He blinked. “Do you need anything?”

  
She took his hand. Her eyes were closed and her fingers were tipped with blue.

  
“I, um…when we were younger, we were playing. We used to do that a lot. And um, she was jumping and I had to make snowbanks to make sure she didn’t fall, but she was jumping too fast and then my hand…” her throat was tight. “ _Slipped_ …and I hit her in the head…”

  
Jack bit his lip. “Oh man. Oh man, Elsa, I’m so sorry.”

  
She was crying in a way that only Elsa could. No deafening sobs, no runny nose, just endless tears falling towards a quivering lip.

  
“We took her to the trolls who live in the forest. They saved her, but…they took her memories. Altered them. I thought she was going to die.”

  
The touch on his hand was gone and she was wiping her eyes.

  
“It’s just…you don’t know what it’s like. To lose your sister…even for a moment…you don’t know.”

  
Jack sighed. “Yes, I do.”

  
“What?”

  
“When I was human. Before I became a guardian. I had a family. I had a sister.”

  
Her face softened. “What was her name?”

  
Jack looked away. “I can’t remember. But I remember some things. She had brown hair. And huge brown eyes. And this smile. This big, goofy smile, and she was missing one of her front teeth.

  
“She was…a lot like Anna. Playful, bright. Full of so much love.”

  
“You’re like my kindred spirit,” she said. “You…we’ve lived the same lives.”

  
“Yeah. That’s true.”

  
Even if she knew about her powers, Anna would always be living with lies. Those memories that the trolls crafted for her weren’t real. All those times they skated on the ballroom floor and all those times they built snow forts as tall as the gates outside were nothing to her. 

  
The truth was lost to her. But the truth would expose her sister as a monster.

  
Her voice grew quieter as a final tear rolled down her cheek. “Hard lives.”

* * *

Toothiana knew.

  
Somewhere in her workshop there was a gilded box with the face of a copper-haired princess on it.

  
He went on and on about how it wasn’t right, she was living with lies, if she just knew about her sister then maybe both of them would be better off. Her powers would be better off.

  
Toothiana knew.

  
She still said no.

  
The trolls and the guardians didn’t work in tandem. They both had their ways and they didn’t overlap. The trolls saved Anna’s life and it was the duty of the guardians to protect every child’s life. Grand Pabbi kept Anna alive. He honored the guardians’ duty.

  
Jack had a point, and one day Anna would see her childhood. But not now. Fear was strong in those memories, and where there was fear, there was Pitch. Anna didn’t need any nightmares. Elsa had enough of those on her own. 

  
The bogeyman was out there. Starving. Suffering. But he could rise again any day, and when he did, he would go after that girl.

  
Jack said he was protecting her, teaching her how to be brave. A part of that was certainly true. But if all of it was true, he wouldn’t have asked for Anna’s memories.

_  
You’re a fool, Jack Frost. A fool blinded by affection._

  
Someday things would be different. Someday Princess Anna would regain her true past. Someday Princess Elsa would be Queen Elsa and she would summon winter with no fear.

  
Someday.

  
Just not today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’d think that after three years of sitting on this fic I’d have some idea of where it’s going. But NOPE. I did take a long time to write this chapter and I’m sorry about that. I currently have two multi-chapter fics going at the same time with various drabbles on top of those. And I have a part-time job and a college essay. So time isn't on my side. But thank you for reading anyway. The next update will be much sooner.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is unbelievably dangerous.”
> 
> Jack rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine. I can fly. And if you fall, I’ll catch you.”

She missed her.

  
She missed everyone. The staff, her sister, the people her mother and father used to be. That was to be expected, though. She missed someone every day. But today it seemed different.

  
March was a melancholy month. Her parents used to say that it went in like a lion and out like a lamb. She never understood why they said that. March came in like a lion and went out like a lion. The beautiful white landscapes were tainted with dirt. The country’s main export was quite literally on thin ice. It was too cold to play outside but too warm to stay indoors.

  
Jack probably hated March, too. It was the month when people started to get tired of snow.

  
When the guardian came through her open window she gave him a half-hearted smile.

  
“What’s with you today, princess?”

  
Elsa waved his comment away and took off a glove. She flicked her wrist, sending a snowflake flying. But it was different. This snowflake was dull, limply floating along the air before falling to the ground and melting immediately. Her sparkle was nowhere to be seen.

  
“I really hate March.”

  
“Why?”

  
She shrugged. “I don’t really know. It just feels like an in-between month.”

  
“You’ll be feeling like that a lot now. You’re fifteen, it’s a weird age.”

  
“How old are you?”

  
He paused. “Three hundred and twenty-five. I’m an old man.” He hunched his back and leaned on his staff like a cane.

  
She giggled. “No, really. How old are you?”

  
“I think I’m twenty.” Twenty. That seemed about right.

  
She nodded. “I was just curious.”

  
Fifteen. One year off from his original guess. It was still surreal to him that she’d be sixteen come December. But it would happen. And they’d celebrate, of course.

  
He rubbed the back of his neck. “But I know how you feel about March. I have to stop spreading winter by this time.”

  
She slumped her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling…weird lately. More than usual. Like I don’t fit anywhere.”

  
That was normal for a teenage girl. But maybe there was something more.

  
“Is it Anna?”

  
“Probably. I miss her. But I always miss her.”

_  
I don’t think it’s really anything. It’s just…today._

  
The guardian’s eyes turned the bright shade of blue they did when he had something up his sleeve. “I know how to fix this. We’re gonna have a little fun.”

* * *

“This is unbelievably dangerous.”

  
Jack rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine. I can fly. And if you fall, I’ll catch you.”

  
The crease in Elsa’s brow didn’t disappear, but it lessened.

  
“Which one is Anna’s window?”

  
She pointed ahead, teetering in the direction of her finger.

  
Elsa kneeled at the window, pressing her hand to the pane. It was immediately frosted.

  
“What does Anna like?”

  
Elsa knew the answer right away. “Snowmen. She loves snowmen.”

  
“Make one.”

  
“Right now? On the roof?”

  
“No. Make one with your mind. On the window.”

  
Elsa closed her eyes and remembered that day in the throne room, before what happened. They had rolled big snowballs and stacked them upon each other but Anna had somehow rolled a snowball that was more oblong than round. Elsa had shaken her head and set the oddly-shaped head onto its body. Then he was Olaf.

  
‘Hi, I’m Olaf! And I like warm hugs!’ He wasn’t perfect. But he was theirs. And despite being made of snow, when Anna hugged Olaf, he was warm.

  
“Elsa! Look!”

  
Elsa’s mouth fell open. There was…Olaf. Not the real Olaf, but…his shape was there, like a ghost.

  
“Did I do that?”

  
“Yes. Now this is going to be tricky, but I know you can do it. I want you to pull it from the frost. Take the image you made in your mind and put it into the world.”

  
Elsa frowned and cupped her hands around the snowman’s shape. Nothing.

  
He rested a hand on her shoulder and pointed at the pane. “Concentrate. You’re in control.”

  
She narrowed her gaze. “I have the power.” _I’m in control. I have the power. Feel the sparkle. Pull it from the window. It’s mine._

  
Her hands tingled and then she was holding a ghost.

  
“You did it!”

  
The little snowman in her hands waved at her and she was so shocked she almost dropped him.

  
“Don’t worry. He won’t hurt you.”

  
“What is he?”

  
Jack smiled. “He’s the reason I’m a guardian.”

  
“What?”

  
“You’ll see.”

  
Olaf hopped out of Elsa’s hands and leaped through the window. He landed on the floor, shimmers following him.

  
They couldn’t hear what Olaf first said to Anna through the glass, but whatever it was, Anna was nearly dumbfounded. But her confusion quickly turned to wonder.

  
Olaf danced around her room, laughter following his kicks and spins. She raced from corner to corner, following the little snowman until she began to dance beside him. They spun together, shimmering. Elsa was almost dizzy just watching them.

  
“I love you, Olaf!”

  
Elsa pulled at his cloak and Jack returned the gaze of the princess beside him. “This is what makes you a guardian?”

  
“Well, partially. We each have something special. But we share our centers with each other. This is North’s—Santa’s center.

  
“He once told me something. ‘Eyes that see lights in the trees and magic in the air. This wonder is what I put into the world and what I protect in children. It is what makes me a guardian.’”

  
Anna was what made North a guardian.

  
Joy. It had been so scarce in her life. There was no room for joy when fear consumed her day and night. But now it was back.

  
It was there when she controlled her power for the first time in so long and it was there now. Her heart rose with the corners of Anna’s mouth.

  
He had given it to her.

  
She shared her joy by wrapping her arms around him and whispering “thank you” into his shoulder.

  
Maybe March wasn’t all that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack’s age in this fic is the age that I have headcanoned him as since seeing _Rise of the Guardians_. Canon is an important part of this story, but it’s a jumping-off point, not a boundary.  
>  It’s been a little difficult to keep up with _Eternity_ lately since I have so much going on in my life. And writing slow burn is hard. There’s going to be a few minor time skips in the future; nothing more than a few months. The major time skip will come much later. For now, enjoy the burn.  
>   
>  \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If a child didn’t celebrate Easter, they were still a child. The same as every child he watched over. The ones who celebrated it got eggs and sweets. The ones who had different traditions at that time of year got a warm breeze and a flower blooming in an unexpected place. So Anna and Elsa should at least get _something._

Easter was coming up.

  
And of course Jack was none too pleased.

  
Bunnymud enjoyed it way too much. Everywhere he looked there were flowers or tweeting birds or bright green grass.

  
Or eggs.

  
There was _nothing_ worse than eggs.

  
He’d just be flying around, minding his own business, when boom. Out pops an egg from his pocket. Building a snowman? An egg would find its way into a snowball. Skating across a lake? Followed closely by a little kangaroo minion. 

  
He was _really_ starting to regret the Blizzard of ’68.

  
Fortunately, one hadn’t accompanied him to the castle today. The lesson had been short. Jack hadn’t been focused, Elsa hadn’t been motivated. She was so somber; it might as well have been March again.

  
“Okay,” he said. “We’re not going to get anything accomplished today. I’m not concentrated enough, you’re not invested.”

  
Elsa rolled her eyes. “You know that I am. It’s just…not the right time for snow stuff.”

  
“Elsa. Come _on_. Your powers aren’t seasonal. They’re not allergies.”

  
She tugged at her loose hair. “Is it so wrong that I just don’t want to do anything right now? I’ve got a lot on my mind. Freezing something is the last thing I need.”

  
A crease formed in Jack’s brow. “Where did this attitude come from?”

  
“I’m a teenager, Jack! This happens to everyone! Sometimes I’m going to be moody and sometimes you’ll have to deal with that. I’m sorry, okay?”

  
Jack ran a thumb along his staff. Damn. She was never like this. Sad sometimes, yeah. Hopeful, occasionally. But _moody_? “Apology accepted. Look…maybe we should take the rest of the day off. We could both benefit from some time alone.”

  
“Fine. I’ll…see you later.”

  
She undid the latch on the window and pushed it open. Jack couldn’t help but be amused by the action. She always said it was far less creepy to enter through a window or a door.

  
He gave a weak wave and she muttered a goodbye.

  
Spring was shaping up to be a challenge. And not just because of the eggs.

* * *

The Easter Bunny was making a flower bloom from a crack in the floor when Jack got the idea.

  
“Easter.”

  
Bunnymud ears twitched and his head snapped to Jack. “You got a problem, mate?”

  
“Easter,” he repeated, beginning to smile and rub his hands together. “ _Easter_. It’s perfect!”

  
The pooka’s paw went to his boomerang. “I know that look, Frost. You’re not ruining my holiday again.”

  
“I wasn’t thinking about that. I actually…” he grimaced. This was going to be hard to say. “I was…going to ask for your help.”

  
A moment of suspicious silence answered him.

  
“I swear by the moon, I’m serious. I just thought of something I can do. For Elsa.”

  
Bunny crossed his paws and sighed. “Here we go again. You’re playing a dangerous game, mate. Getting attached to kids like that.”

 _  
Not this again._ “It’s different for Elsa. You know that. But you’re distracting me. I want to do something for her and Anna.”

  
“What?”

  
“I don’t know, some sort of Easter thing. They both love chocolate. Neither of them get to go outside. Even some of your demon eggs would do the job.”

  
Bunnymud’s foot thumped against the floor. “Mate, I’ve got a whole world of children to worry about. I can’t focus on two little girls.”

  
“Yeah but they’re kids. The same kids you protect and serve every day.”

  
“Jack, those girls don’t even celebrate Easter. I’ve got bigger things on my mind.”

  
Jack groaned and took to the air, gliding over to the door.

  
“You know we don’t make children celebrate a holiday. Do you see North going down the chimneys of children preparing for Hannukah?”

  
“No, but he loves those kids just the same.”

  
Bunnymud felt a prick of guilt and heard a shutting door.

* * *

Easter was a holiday that faded quickly in the castle.

  
When the princesses were young they had fun collecting eggs and eating much more chocolate than their parents said they could have. But it was a strain on the staff. The castle was big, and there was only so much cleaning one could do before getting tired.

  
Anna quietly drew bunnies in her bedroom while Elsa sat with hands folded and gloves on. When all Easters were spent like that, there was nothing special left. It was another lonely spring day.

  
It was…honestly sad. Easter was a day of hope. People had tried to tell him over the years that it was about some sort of deity, but Bunny believed differently. Easter was a celebration of a new leaf, a reminder that cold would never last and that flowers would eventually bloom. Easter was another chance.

  
But the royal family of Arendelle gave up on second chances.

  
If a child didn’t celebrate Easter, they were still a child. The same as every child he watched over. The ones who celebrated it got eggs and sweets. The ones who had different traditions at that time of year got a warm breeze and a flower blooming in an unexpected place. So Anna and Elsa should at least get _something_.

  
A pink and yellow egg tugged at the fur on his leg.

  
“You wanna do something for the princesses, mate?”

  
The egg waddled over to Bunny’s foot. He thumped twice and a hole sprouted from the ground.

  
Each of the guardians had their own way of getting where they needed to be. And each of them thought their way was the best. But North couldn’t pull out the sleigh whenever he wanted. Sandy couldn’t fly to the edge of the earth in a second. 

  
And Jack…well, Jack wasn’t exactly punctual.

  
Bunnymud prided himself on perfect attendance.

  
Arendelle was gorgeous this time of year. The green on the mountains peeked out from underneath melting snow, the crocuses were starting to poke their blossoms above the dirt. Frost had mentioned something about the crocus being Arendelle’s national flower.

  
“Alright. Time to work some magic.”

* * *

The book was unbelievably boring.

  
Elsa had read every book in her room at least three times over. She’d cleaned her room, braided and unbraided her hair a dozen times, and even tried practicing her magic.

  
She started a flurry in the corner, quickly growing tired of watching the flakes fall and melt onto her carpet. Onto the next corner. Maybe an icicle would liven things up.

  
Elsa set down the book and raised her fingers, prepared to draw a line of ice, but…there was something in the corner.

  
Wait a minute.

  
Was that…chocolate?

  
She sighed and turned her eyes back to the page. _I’m just seeing things. Because I’m bored. Just get back to the book._

  
Page 324. _God_. The book fell onto her chest and she rubbed her eyes. What was _wrong_ with her?

  
Her hands fell to her sides and her room came back into view. A quick glance at the corner and…

  
There was the chocolate.  
  
  
Alright. Not just seeing things. That had not been there before. Might as well see what it is.

  
When Elsa knelt at the corner, she was perplexed. It was indeed chocolate. What looked to be a bunny and an egg dusted with blue sugar. How long had it been since she’d last had chocolate?

  
The princess picked up the egg and bit into it, sweetness filling her mouth. On a cloudy April day with nothing but boredom and frustration, there was chocolate in her room. But how? Her parents almost seemed afraid to give her sweets. As if eating sugar would make her freeze them in their tracks.

  
So it definitely wasn’t them who gave this to her.

  
It wasn’t Anna. She didn’t have access to things like this. And she couldn’t get into her room.

  
So then it had to be…

  
The egg was so good she almost didn’t notice the piece of paper under the chocolate bunny. When she read the curly handwriting, excitement grew in her chest like spring.

_  
Anna got an egg too. Hope she likes pink and yellow._

_–E. A. B._

_  
P.S. Jack has a soft spot for you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing in general has been hard lately. I’m in my second week of senior year, college applications are coming up, and I haven’t had a lot of inspiration lately. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing (Jelsa has had me since 2014, I am NOT letting go of them now), it just means that updates won’t be as frequent or as easy as I’d like. Also the crocus really is Arendelle’s national flower. It’s on their flag!  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any control she had left was slithering away from her. The ice was breaking and she was sinking into dark water. Her eyes and nose were overflowing, and her hands quivered, and the shaking crept up her arm, across her neck, down her sternum, and then it was in her heart and her throat was closing up and there was barely any sound, any sight, any _anything._
> 
> Everything was gone.

More often than not, Elsa didn’t have dreams. She preferred it that way; good dreams were too painful to wake up from and bad dreams were too much like real life.

  
Tonight was an exception.

  
Her subconscious had decided to ruin a good day. She’d managed to surprise Anna with some unexpected snow on a late June afternoon. And it was all on her own; no help from Jack. Using her powers had been very successful lately. The day had passed without a mood swing, tear, or snafu.

  
And then she went to bed.

  
She was in what looked to be like a forest. But it was hard to tell in the darkness. Elsa could barely make out the shapes of pine trees against the sky.

  
“Jack?”

  
It was stupid to call him. It wasn’t as if he could hear her from wherever he was. But wherever she was, it was dark. And it was cold.

  
What was she standing on? It felt hard enough, but she definitely wasn’t standing on solid ground.

  
Her confusion was disrupted by a loud crack and an echo.

_  
Ice. I’m standing on ice._

_  
It’s fine, I’m just dreaming. If this is my dream, I can control what happens._ She stared at the ice until her eyes hurt, trying to visualize the cracks closing up and disappearing. Nothing.

  
Something was wrong. Why couldn’t she control her actions? Why was she alone?

  
“Mother? Father?”

  
Silence.

  
“Anna?”

  
Silence.

  
“Jack?”

  
“He’s not here.”

  
She turned her head, but the voice that spoke to her had no face.

  
“Let me go,” Elsa said, trying to sound intimidating. “You can’t do anything to me here.”

  
“Au contraire, child,” it said. “I can do whatever I want. You’re in my world now, little Princess.”

 _  
It’s him. Run_. She was shaking, and yet she couldn’t move a muscle. _Jump. Run. Hop up and down, anything, just_ move _._

  
Then she heard them. _Close the gates. The gloves will help. Elsa, what have you done?_

  
Elsa would have given anything for the silence she’d had moments ago. Now everything was loud, too loud, screaming worried sentiments and terrified questions.

  
“You can’t do anything to me. It’s all fake, it’s my imagination, it’s _only a dream_!”

  
“No, my dear,” he sneered.

  
The ground below her split like a wound and her feet went out from under her. Elsa’s body plunged into the lake, cold piercing her angles, her waist, her elbows, her chest. She couldn’t swim, she couldn’t float. All she could do was fall.

  
When the cold seized her neck, she looked up, and the voice now had a face. Grey and skeletal with a fanged smile and a gold stare. No. Not gold.

  
Yellow. The same yellow that filled the eyes of the ones in her dreams. The same yellow that stirred terror in her heart and ripped screams from her throat.

  
“This isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare.”

  
She woke and her blankets were streaked with frost.

  
No. No no no no _no_ , this wasn’t happening, how could she have used her powers in her sleep, this was terrible, this was _impossible_.

  
Any control she had left was slithering away from her. The ice was breaking and she was sinking into dark water. Her eyes and nose were overflowing, and her hands quivered, and the shaking crept up her arm, across her neck, down her sternum, and then it was in her heart and her throat was closing up and there was barely any sound, any sight, any _anything_.

  
Everything was gone.

* * *

“Remind me why we’re here again, Tooth?”

  
“I just had a funny feeling. It’s probably nothing, but better safe than sorry.”

  
For some reason, Jack always felt like a stranger in Tooth’s palace. Maybe because it always seemed empty despite the thousands of fairies that lived there. Or maybe it had something to do with being inside a mountain. 

  
“Checking on the fairies isn’t going to kill you,” North said. “Just cooperate for a few minutes and we’ll send you on your way.”

  
Jack sighed and walked over to a golden pile of teeth. “What are we looking for?”

  
“You’ll know if something is wrong.”

  
They all knelt, pawing through the piles. Even though none of them were speaking, they wouldn’t shut up. The boxes scraped against each other with each rake, and with five of them searching, Jack’s ears almost bled.

  
They all looked the same. All gold boxes with smiling faces, clang, clang, clang, there was nothing wrong, why were they here—

 _  
Jack_?

  
“What?”

  
Bunnymud paused. “What?”

  
“Did one of you call me?”

  
Bunnymud shook his head. “Geez, Frost. Just when we thought there couldn’t be anything else wrong with ya. Now you’re hearing things.”

  
“No, I…I definitely heard something.”

  
What was that? It almost felt like the guardians reaching out to him. But that only happened while they were sleeping, and the only person who could do it awake was Sandy.

  
“Sandy!”

  
The sandman glided over to his friend with a concerned look on his face.

  
“Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong. Did you dream-share with me just now?”

  
Sandy’s concern only grew as he shook his head.

  
“Huh. Um…okay. Thanks. That’s all I wanted to ask.”

  
It could have only been her. There was no way anyone else could have reached him.

  
That meant she was in trouble.

  
“I’ve gotta go.”

  
Toothiana’s feathers bristled. “Excuse me?”

  
“I…I heard something. Someone called for me.”

  
Tooth’s eyes said it all. “This is ridiculous. It’s summer, Jack. Your only priority should be protecting the children and you’re blowing them off because you _heard_ something?”

  
“I have to go.”

  
“North!”

  
The clanging stopped as Santa approached the two. “Is there a problem here?”

  
“Actually, yes. Jack wants to abandon us because he’s preoccupied with his princess.”

  
North groaned. “You’re being irresponsible. Remember your promise, Jack Frost? You swore to protect the children of the world forever.”

  
Jack grit his teeth. “Pretty sure Elsa falls into that category.”

  
“No. You’re going to stay here and help us finish looking.”

  
“She _called_ me.”

  
“That’s impossible.”

  
“No, it’s not, because I just heard it.”

  
“Only guardians can dream-share. You’re hearing things. You’re worried about your Elsa—” her eyes said _you’re worried about your Harry, I told you to let her go “_ —and you’re making excuses to go see her, even though you see her _every day_.”

  
“I’m going.”

  
“Jack!” North yelled. “What did I tell you? What did Tooth tell you? What did we _all_ tell you?”

  
“You never listen. You never ever listen. Guardians have to listen!”

  
“I’m sorry I’m not a perfect guardian!”

  
The journey to Arendelle was worse than it should have been. He should have been able to fly along the horizon and watch the dawn.

  
But the winds were harsh.

  
Almost as if they were fighting against him too.

* * *

“Elsa?”

  
The room was eerily dark. There was no fire in the hearth, no candle on the nightstand.

  
It was dark as pitch.

  
He sighed in relief when he finally found in the darkness, her curled on her side

  
“Elsa? What’s wrong?

  
She looked at him with bloodshot eyes and he knew where she was. She was drowning in the lake at Burgess. Losing herself. Succumbing.

  
What had he done last time this had happened? Not much. He’d just…waited. But this was more than whatever had happened when he’d brought up Anna. There was frost on her blankets.

  
A hug would smother her. A pat on the back would rattle her.

  
So he placed a hand on her head.

  
Her forehead was clammy and he could feel an old tear at the corner of her eye. But what he felt didn’t matter. What mattered was bringing her back. Anchoring her here. Pulling her out or the lake.

  
They stayed that way for a few more minutes before Elsa sat up and leaned against his side.

  
“I had…a nightmare. And I woke up and there…was…I used my powers _in my sleep.”_

  
The shaking returned and she squeezed her eyes shut. “That’s never happened before…I can…I can hurt people…without even _knowing_ it.”

  
Jack pulled her close. This was something that he never could have seen coming. He’d never used his powers in his sleep. But Pitch was behind this. And Pitch could do almost anything in a dream.

  
“I’m never going to let him hurt you,” Jack whispered into her hair. “Ever. And I’m going to help you. You’re on your way to greatness, Elsa. We’re going to take this.”

  
“I’m scared.”

  
He closed his eyes and held her hand. He could tell her some inspirational jargon or he could tell her the truth.

  
So he told her the truth.

  
“It’s okay to be scared sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic attacks are different for everyone.  
> As someone who has had many panic attacks in her life, I modeled Elsa’s experiences off of my own. My attacks normally come from situations where I feel that I’ve made a mistake, and the main physical symptoms I feel are shortness of breath and a fast heartbeat.  
> Most of this fic’s universe is based on the _Frozen_ and _Rise of the Guardians_ movies, but I am taking inspiration from the _Guardians of Childhood_ books. You won’t see this affect the plot, but if you see some powers that the guardians don’t have in the movies, that’s from the books.  
>   
>  \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She took a breath and looked out on the August evening as a thought rang out in Jack’s head.
> 
>  
> 
> _You’re going to be a great queen._

“Just promise you’ll be quiet.”

  
Jack rolled his head back and groaned. “It’s not like he’ll hear me.”

  
Elsa pulled on her gloves. “He may not, but _I_ will. And I need to focus.”

  
Jack flicked his staff and a snowball went flying at Elsa, which she deflected and turned to a puddle.

  
“Jack…did you see that? I melted it!”

  
“You’ve done that before.”

  
“Well, yeah, but…it feels good. Especially now.”

  
Since her last attack Jack had sensed that there was a new fear in Elsa. And this one wasn’t going away. It hadn’t left him either. But moments like these suppressed it for a while. At this point, all he could do was encourage her. But apparently he couldn’t have any fun when she was having queen lessons.

  
Two knocks on the door sent Elsa into a frenzy. “He’s here. Sit over there and don’t say anything. And no snowballs!”

  
The guardian threw himself on Elsa’s bed as she opened the door, welcoming the king inside.

  
If Jack were a king, he wouldn’t wear a heavy crown and an itchy suit unless he had to. Apparently King Agnarr felt the same. He was dressed in a simple green shirt and black trousers, hair combed but not pomaded, a stack of papers under an arm, a box in one hand and a candlestick in another. Anna shared his copper hair and rosy complexion, but there was a regality in the way he carried himself that he’d definitely passed down to Elsa.

  
The King greeted his daughter with a smile and a bow, then the two of them sat at her desk. He set the papers down in front of Elsa, telling her to read them and seal the one that confirmed a trade with the Southern Isles. Jack thought that seemed a bit hard for a learning exercise, but it made more sense when he considered that Elsa was a near genius. Blue eyes raked the pages like her favorite books, pausing to reread sentences and take time to learn new words. Elsa pulled the seventh page from the pile and set it aside, having found the correct contract.

  
The King held up the box. “Are we ready?”

  
“Yes, Papa.”

  
He set the candlestick in front of her as she reached for the box and took out its contents: a small silver spoon, a square of wax, a new match. “Do we remember how to seal?”

  
She struck the match and lit the candle, keeping a steady hand even as her father flinched. “Yes, Papa.”

  
The King watched her heat the wax square over the flame, twisting a gold ring around his pinky. When the square turned to a dark liquid, she poured a spot of wax onto the paper and looked at her father. He cautiously slid off his ring and handed it to her, watching like an owl as she pressed its surface into the wax.

  
The princess lifted the ring and left the impression of a crocus in her handiwork.

  
“Wonderful. You just made a deal with a kingdom,” the King said. His smile was so warm that Jack could practically feel sunshine radiating from him.

  
Elsa beamed. “Is it time for a lightning round?”

  
Jack felt his beloved mischief gleaming behind the King’s eyes. “How many citizens are there in Arendelle?”

  
“Currently 2,000, but that number is constantly changing due to deaths and new births.”

  
“What’s the kingdom’s main export?”

  
The princess rolled her eyes. “Do I even have to answer that?”

  
“No. It’s just a question I have to ask. What’s the kingdom’s crest?”

  
“A crocus.”

  
“What’s the significance of the orb and scepter?”

  
“The scepter is to the monarch as the crook is to the shepherd. It guides the kingdom towards happiness. The orb represents the ruler keeping Arendelle safe in their hands.”

  
The King’s expression turned so quickly Jack thought he was seeing things. All the pride in the wrinkles by his eyes disappeared and turned to trepidation. “Elsa. We have a while until the day. A long while. But…it’s never too early to start practicing.” 

  
Elsa pursed her lips as her father picked up the candlestick and a nearby paperweight. Alright. This was the coronation ceremony that he’d heard about. The priest says some sacred stuff, hands her the orb and scepter, then boom. She’s queen. For now, a candlestick and a paperweight would have to do. With eyes closed and palms exposed, she softly whispered “my crook and my kingdom” before the King placed the makeshift items in her hands.

  
She held them like she was born to. Head high, arms steady, even a small smile.

  
And yet…frost.

  
A thin layer of frost coating the bottoms.

  
She put them back on the table without any grace, biting her lip and yanking her gloves back on.The King sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Alright, that was good. You didn’t even freeze the whole thing.”

  
Elsa scoffed. “Perfect. The kingdom will be so impressed. ‘Did you hear? The evil queen only froze _half_ of the holy scepter and orb,’ how—”

  
“You’re not evil!”

  
Jack clapped a hand over his mouth. Damnit. He’d broken her rule. But he wouldn’t let her call herself evil. Evil was Pitch, evil was laughing over suffering, evil was _not_ fear.

  
“Elsa? What are you looking at?”

  
Her eyes returned to her father. “I’m sorry, Papa. I was…” _I was angry. Frustrated. Upset._ “…distracted.”

  
A crease formed between Agnarr’s brow. “Now is not the time to get distracted. This is your future! You were doing so well, what happened? _Don’t feel_.” Hearing those words made Jack want to punch a hole in the wall. “Time is running out, Elsa, you’re almost sixteen, you have to think of the kingdom!”

  
There was chaos inside her head. _I am thinking of the kingdom, I care about Arendelle, I_ love _Arendelle, I was doing well and everything got ruined and I’m trying to listen to you but it feels so_ wrong _, I miss my sparkle, I miss my sister,_ it was creeping, her fingers were getting colder, her knees were trembling, her father’s eyes were flashing yellow, _fear will be your enemy_ —

_  
No._

_  
Not today._

  
She looked into her father’s eyes, head pounding, and concentrated until she found the hazel she’d always known. “I apologize, Papa. I will try harder.”

  
He smoothed his hair. “I’m sorry. You did well today, I mean it. I have to go.”

  
“Thank you, Papa,” she mumbled after bending into a curtsy. King Agnarr responded with a curt bow and shut the door.

  
Jack was on his feet the second the king left the room and Elsa’s brow furrowed in annoyance. “Way to do the one thing I told you not to do. And before you say anything, he means well.”

  
“Well he needs to rethink his method. He’s the one who came up with that ‘conceal don’t feel’ nonsense, right?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“Do you—”

  
“ _Jack_. You did the one thing I told you not to do. _The one thing_ , you’d think that someone who’s been alive for 300 years would be less incorrigible—”

  
“I’m sorry.” Jack tugged on his hair. “I’m sorry. I should have kept quiet. I just…you’re not evil. There’s not an evil bone in your body, and I couldn’t let you call yourself that.”

  
She sighed. “I know that. I’m just terrible at using my magic in front of my parents. And I…I felt him.”

  
“Who?”

  
Elsa almost groaned. “Seriously, Jack? _Pitch_.”

  
“I’m not playing dumb. The more you talk about him the more real he gets.”

  
“Something happened, Jack! Just now. I felt him. In my head, I was just so frustrated and upset, and I thought for sure I was going to freeze the whole room but…then it was over.”

  
“Over?”

  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”

  
They stewed in uncomfortable silence before Jack broke it with something just as awkward. “You’re getting taller, you know.” Stupid and irrelevant, but true. He didn’t have to kneel to meet her eyes anymore; the crown of her head was at the height of his chest.

  
“The next time you practice this stuff, I want you to picture your people. Those things you have to hold—”

  
“The orb and the scepter.”

  
“Yeah, those—you don’t even have to look at them. They don’t matter. All you have to see is the people. They sparkle.”

  
“Feel the sparkle.” Her eyes darkened in concentration, then looked up at him gleefully. He can’t take my sparkle, can he?”

  
“No. No one can.”

  
She took a breath and looked out on the August evening as a thought rang out in Jack’s head.

_  
You’re going to be a great queen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saying a lot has happened since the last update would be an understatement. My grandfather died, net neutrality got repealed (fuck,) I got into college, my sister came home, and one of my best friends who I hadn’t seen in ten months came home. So…yeah. I haven’t had time to write. But I’m NOT giving up on this story.  
> Since net neutrality has been repealed, updates may not be frequent in the future, because I don’t know what ISPs are going to do with AO3. But I will literally fly to DC and fight Ajit Pai if he tries to keep me from my OTP, so don’t give up on this fic. Or the fight for net neutrality.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa made snowflakes and showers, she made them and melted them and felt so proud. Day in, day out, she pushed her limits and came out on top. Almost, at least.

“My old friend.”

  
The moon’s face was solemn tonight, flushed yellow and looking downward.

  
“I know that you will not reply, but I need you to listen, Man in Moon.

  
“We are trying. Toothiana’s fairies work as hard as ever. Sandy brings his dreams when night falls. Bunny hops to and fro, as always. September is fast approaching, and of course I’ve already started to prepare for Christmas.

  
“But there is something out there. It may be Pitch, it may not be. We don’t know. We may be pretending things are alright, but we have all felt it. the children are in danger.”

  
It was just moments ago that Jack had run to him in a panic, speaking so fast he could barely understand.

  
“He found her. He’s back, he got to her, he could—”

  
“Slow down, boy, everything will be fine—”

  
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, nothing is fine, nothing is okay, they’re in danger, she’s in danger…”

  
All North could think to do was give Jack a tight hug. It was a good thing he was good at hugs.

  
“We have bested the bogeyman before, and we will do it again.”

  
North didn’t need to hear Jack ask to know all the questions in his head. _How will we defeat him? What do her powers mean? What will they mean to him? Why am I so scared?_

  
North had no answers.

  
“Jack is focusing too much on his Princess. We don’t know what is to become of her. We don’t know why she has this gift; that’s for you to decide. I may be completely wrong. But something in me thinks it is not a coincidence that this darkness is growing as Jack spends time with this child.

  
“She means something, does she not? You chose her. Why?”

  
No answer. Of course.

  
“Will you help us defeat this evil?”

  
Once again, no answer.

  
“Manny…” A lump stuck in Santa’s throat. “I’m afraid.”

* * *

Elsa made snowflakes and showers, she made them and melted them and felt so proud. Day in, day out, she pushed her limits and came out on top. Almost, at least.

  
That little voice that whispered in her ear was never gone. He was there. He was there and she couldn’t make him go away. She did as she was taught, felt the sparkle, even managed full control.

  
Then it came.

_  
Frost is lying to you. You may play in the snow and laugh, but you can’t undo what you’ve done. You can’t deny what you are._

  
He arrived at her window with a panic in his eyes. “Something is coming. We don’t know what it is or how long it will take to fight it, but…it’s out there.”

  
“ _He’s_ out there,” Elsa corrected him.

  
Jack hesitated. “…Yeah. He’s out there. I have a duty.”

  
She wasn’t a little girl anymore; really she had never been. She knew what this meant, she knew what was coming.

_  
He’s leaving._

  
When Elsa hugged him, she hugged him tightly, holding her guardian as close as she could.

  
“Fight bravely, Jack Frost. And promise me we’ll see each other again.”

  
Jack pulled away, teary-eyed. “I promise you, Princess Elsa. I swear by the Man in the Moon.”

  
He flew away slowly and thought he heard a “thank you” following him. But perhaps it was only the wind.

* * *

_“The long willow-leaves were quite yellow. The dew-drops fell like water, leaf after leaf dropped from the trees, the sloe-thorn alone still bore fruit, but the sloes were sour, and set the teeth on edge. Oh, how dark and weary the whole world appeared!”_

* * *

Already two years had passed and they were barely for the better. The nightmares pulled and pulled and it hurt to keep fighting. It was all too much; too many screams of terror in the night, too much black sand clouding his eyes, too much pain.

  
But she told him to fight bravely, and so he would.

* * *

Four years was a long enough time to realize when dreams were dreams.

  
She was nineteen; there was no room in her life for childhood imaginings.

  
This winter spirit she’d concocted was simply a coping mechanism to get her through her fear. Of course it was fun back then. Often she felt like she could touch the sky with him beside her. But she couldn’t touch the sky with her parents at the bottom of the sea. 

  
Everything he’d taught her about finding her center, about letting her powers flow through her, feeling the sparkle…what was the point? None of it mattered anyway. Had the effect even been there at all?

  
No. Better to honor her father by following his teachings. Better to conceal don’t feel, because at least then her parents were almost alive again, and they could be a family again. 

  
But Anna…

  
The voice laughed at her and sent her to bed crying. As usual.

_  
You’re doing her a favor, keeping the door shut. You’re protecting her. Do you think she misses you? Do you think she cares the way your precious Guardian did?_

  
Elsa shook her head. How foolish.

_  
The one who believed in you…the one you called your friend…he didn’t even care. Because he never existed. He was nothing. Just like you._

  
She once tried to run, to push back, to fight the way she thought Jack once did, but she’d come to learn that there was no running from the truth.

_  
You’re a monster._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back.  
> Writing this story has been a bit tough as of late. I ended up having to re-write this entire chapter. But I’m happy to say that the slow burn is finally (almost) over and we’re moving into the action!  
> I’m nervous, but excited. Writing action isn’t my strong point and staying within canon has been a hell of a challenge, but I’m going to do it. For Jelsa.  
> The quote in the middle is also from _The Snow Queen_. _Snow Queen_ quotes signify the beginning of a new arc, or a turning point in the story—they’re basically an indicator of when things are about to get real.  
>  Thank you for reading, and to my subscribers, thank you for sticking around. I know updates have been extremely spotty, but I’m more thankful than words can express.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Check out [my Jelsa blog](http://jelsawithacapitalj.tumblr.com)


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